It’s funny to me that I’ve actually had people discredit my husband’s and/or my stability, spirituality or Aspergers based solely on our unpredictability and travels. “We mock what we don’t understand”. So let me help you understand the real reason for all our moving and changes.
I for one come from a background of an evangelist’s kid for starters. We stayed one week in each place we went, (with the exception of December when we went “home”for the holidays.) and I did that since I was 6 and until I was in college.
Some have claimed that I must not have Aspergers syndrome, as I have no desire for routines and sameness in my life. To this theory I see the obvious problem that I had no routine in my life as a kid, and certainly none that I could replicate in later life. . . other then being flexible with no routine and moving a lot.
So the story of our lives together since college is one of different churches, different homes, different jobs, different passions, as well as different countries. As I look back though, while I may have had a predisposition to be changeable, it was actually good character in listening to “the Spirit” or our conscience that led us to make most of the changes and moves.
I have observed this same tendency in many other people of character as well, who have no background like mine,or Aspergers, but who simply wanted to follow “God” or what they felt to be right, or “the leading of the Spirit”.
We can see this lived out in many typical church situations easily enough. When we find issues in some church leadership or doctrine, and we are convicted of being in the wrong, or with the wrong crowd, we move on to another church.
That is easier said then done when you ARE the church leadership though, or are at least part of it. You have your identity as with that church in the community. If you left even in the best of terms, people talk. . .You see, none of us can understand what leads a person to do something, we just see the outcome. So we try to figure out the reason why they left, based on what would make us leave. So the more character a person has, the more likely it is for them to come up with an extreme reason for you to have left, judging the church leadership or doctrine. And the less character a person has, the more they will presume you did something wrong and got caught for it, thus judge you for leaving. That’s how we project our thoughts and issues on others. And that’s how every time a leader leaves a church, we are causing an inevitable church split when it’s not clear about why you are leaving. And when is it ever clear?!
Matters are complicated even worse when part or all of your livelihood is caught up in your specific church or religion. Sometimes we had a business partner who trained my husband in a trade, specifically so they could bolster each others faith. It’s also tricky when you often work for church people. Mostly though, we were hired directly by the church.
So when we left the church, we knew the job was most often gone too.
Some Christian groups believe in pastors being like Paul, and being self supporting, and we can see why. Being paid to preach or work for the church makes you manipulated into staying with a church you might someday not agree with. Whereas, if you are simply hired for your talent as a musician say, and don’t have to be a member or sign any doctrinal statement to do it, that would be fine! Sadly, I’m not sure if that kind of church exists, but I do know musicians, that for the money, sign things they don’t mean. I guess we had too much character to lie about our beliefs. (My husband gave up graduating from his 4 year program in music by a few credits, because he knew that he couldn’t sign the doctrinal statement for graduating from that Bible school.)
So, not running per se, but trying to have peace with a church’s teachings, and a job that usually came with it, we moved, and moved again. Thankfully we had some family who would move with us, as they saw each time the predicament we were in, either financially or emotionally. (And who knows just how many of our physical problems have been caused by all the stress and trauma of change. . .)
There were also moves involving being financially wise, or getting out of a bad neighborhood, but those were the exceptions. As a handyman,(from necessity in the end) getting fixer upper houses just made sense, and it has helped us to work up to a house that we are now very content with staying in. Between that, not being dependent on a job tied to religion, as well as being just one of the crowd in a very unusually accepting church, I see no need to move again. . .as for vacations, that’s a whole “nother story. . .!